Hello all,
Long time, no update.
My 6th and last chemo treatment was 4 weeks ago (hopefully). As usual, I had a fairly rough 7-10 days following it, but was able to fly down and see my parents and my sister in Mississippi. My parents have both suffered bad falls within the last 2 months and I really needed to go see them. Once again, my heartfelt thanks to our sister, Liz, for caring for them so wonderfully.
I saw the oncologist yesterday and had my usual routine blood work, which was all essentially normal. Red and white cell counts a little low, but no big deal. I won’t have the results of my CA125 (the cancer indicator) until Monday. The oncologist said it probably won’t have been long enough from the last chemo for it to show much change. I think I’m repeating myself here, but I’ll be having it checked monthly for awhile and as long as the number stays low, it’s an indication that the cancer is gone. If it starts coming back up, it means that the surgery and the chemo did not kill it and I’ll start back on the chemo, probably indefinitely, adjusting the dose up or down depending on the CA125 numbers. My oncologist did offer that I could stay on one of the chemo drugs (the worst one) for 12 more months and delay the recurrence for that 12 months (IF it is going to recur at all). I politely declined (Are you out of your #%^&@*&^%$ mind?). I need a break, Paul needs a break, our kids need a break, we all need a break!
On a positive note, I am starting to feel like my old self again, with the exception of the overwhelming fatigue. Great energy in the morning, but wiped out afternoon and evening. I still don’t have much of an appetite and have not gained any weight back, but coffee is starting to taste good again, so I think the rest will follow. At least I still don’t have to shave and it’s a snap to do my “head.”
As you might imagine, it is a little difficult to get my arms around the fact that I could be walking around with a time bomb in my abdomen, but I’m trying to cope. Hell, we’re all trying to cope with one thing or another, aren’t we? Ben loaned me a wonderful Buddhist meditation book. Right now, I am studying mindful breathing and concentrating on “Metta Bhavana” – Developing Universal Loving Kindness. Of course, you have to start with loving yourself. My body hasn’t been very kind or loving for the last two years, so I’m giving it a shot.
“May I be well,
May I be happy,
May I be free from suffering,
May I make progress.”
If I can pull all of this off, I’ve got it made in the shade!
Love you all,
Nyshie (Big Giant)